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weekly-roundup

Intel Beats by 28x, Tesla Prints Free Cash, and the Strait of Hormuz Is Basically a Toll Road Now

Intel beat EPS estimates by 28x. Tesla printed $1.4B in free cash. Oil hit $96. Iran is literally running a toll booth in the Strait of Hormuz. Normal week.

1 min read

INTCTSLAGEVMETA

weekly-roundup

The Week the Strait of Hormuz Broke Everything — Except $TSLA

Oil above $100, a new Apple CEO, Tesla's jaw-dropping free cash flow reversal, and a Strait of Hormuz standoff that won't quit. Your week in markets, summarized.

1 min read

TSLA

AAPL

CPWR

AMZN

weekly-roundup

Tim Cook Out, Iran In, and Markets Are Somehow Fine: Your Chaotic Week in Stocks

Tim Cook's out, John Ternus is in, oil swung 7% in a day, and psychedelic stocks somehow had the best week on the board. Normal stuff.

1 min read

AAPLCMPSAMZNUAL

weekly-roundup

Oil Surges, Stocks Rip, and Nobody Can Agree If the Strait Is Open — Welcome to Your Weird Week

The Strait of Hormuz opened. Then closed. Then maybe opened again. Oil spiked 5.7%, stocks ripped anyway, and Allbirds pivoted to AI. Normal week.

1 min read

ADBEQXOGOOGLTSLA

weekly-roundup

Strait Drama, Netflix Trauma, and the S&P 500's Best Week Since 2020 — The Weekly Roundup

S&P 500 posts back-to-back 3%+ weeks, Netflix gets clowned for a $0.06 EPS miss, and Anthropic's new AI model is apparently a hacker. Busy week.

1 min read

NFLXRKLBALLYGEV

weekly-roundup

Iran Peace Hopes Send S&P to 7,000 — But the Oil Market Thinks You're Being Naive

S&P hit 7,001, oil puked 11%, Netflix face-planted 9%, and Iran opened and closed the Strait of Hormuz like it was a convenience store. Weekly roundup.

1 min read

SPYNFLXJBHTSCHW

weekly-roundup

Netflix Faceplants, Airlines Soar, and the Strait of Hormuz Is Running the Whole Market Now

Markets hit all-time highs on Iran deal hopes, Netflix whiffed on guidance despite a revenue beat, and the week's wildest trade was a shoe company pivoting to GPUs.

1 min read

NFLXUALAALJBLU

weekly-roundup

Sneaker Company Becomes AI Firm, Markets Hit Records, and Jim Cramer Is Losing His Mind: Your Weekly Roundup

A shoe company sold its shoes, Iran almost closed the world's most important waterway, and the Nasdaq posted its longest win streak since 2021. Normal week.

1 min read

AAONNVDAMSFTTSLA

weekly-roundup

Oil Craters 7%, S&P Erases War Losses — The Market Is Betting on a Deal It Doesn't Have Yet

The S&P erased all war losses in a week. Oil fell 7% on peace vibes. Then talks collapsed and the Navy blockaded the Strait of Hormuz. Normal week.

1 min read

WFCJPMGSORCL

weekly-roundup

Hormuz Blockade, $127 Oil, and the S&P 500 Just... Goes Up — This Week Was Unhinged

The Strait of Hormuz is blockaded, 13M barrels/day are offline, Qatar's LNG took a hit — and the S&P 500 finished the week up. We have questions.

1 min read

SNDKDELLHPEORCL

weekly-roundup

The Strait of Hormuz Is Breaking Everything: Oil, Food, Banks, and Your $7 Bag of Doritos

Oil hit $127, peace talks failed, CPI came in hot, and Intel somehow ripped 24%. Your weekly social sentiment debrief, no filter.

1 min read

INTCPLTRUNHPEP

weekly-roundup

Intel Rips 24%, PLTR Pukes 14%, and the Strait of Hormuz Is Running Everyone's Week

INTC moonshots 24%, PLTR craters 14%, gas is up $1.17/gallon, and the Strait of Hormuz is still basically a parking lot. Normal week.

1 min read

INTCPLTRCRWVUNH

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