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breaking-news

Oil Just Blew Past $100 and the Strait of Hormuz Is Basically a Parking Lot Now

Oil's above $100, tankers are burning, and the IEA's emergency reserve release covers maybe 3 weeks of disruption. Cool, cool, cool.

Mar 12, 20261 min read

breaking-news

$200 Oil Is No Longer a Meme — Iran Just Made It a Threat

Iran is threatening $200 oil, the supreme leader is injured but still at the wheel, and Gulf states are quietly furious. Markets are sweating.

Mar 11, 20261 min read

breaking-news

CELH Drops 20% on Iran War Fears — But Is the Market Handing You a Free Earnings Beat?

Celsius reported 117% sales growth and a massive earnings beat. Then Iran showed up. Now the stock is down 20% and the bulls are licking their chops.

Mar 11, 20261 min read

breaking-news

Oil Hits $120, Then $87 in 24 Hours — The Market Is Having a Full Breakdown

Oil went from $120 to $87 in one session. The Dow swung 1,200 points. Trump said 'very complete.' Traders said 'cover your shorts.'

Mar 9, 20261 min read

breaking-news

Strait of Hormuz Is Closed and Oil Just Hit $90 — Welcome to Day 9 of the Market's Worst Nightmare

Oil above $90, the Strait of Hormuz shut, and equities showing structural cracks. Day 9 of the Iran conflict is not going great for your portfolio.

Mar 8, 20261 min read

breaking-news

Stagflation Is Back, Baby — And the Fed Has No Idea What To Do About It

Core PCE sitting at 3.1%, unemployment creeping up, and the Fed says rates could stay put 'for quite some time.' Cool cool cool.

Mar 7, 20261 min read

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