Intel Rips 24%, PLTR Pukes 14%, and the Strait of Hormuz Is Running Everyone's Week
From INTC's best week since 2000 to pawn shops funding gas money, here's everything that mattered this week
Ticker Ratings
Let's start with the headline act: $INTC ripped nearly 24% this week — its biggest weekly gain since the year 2000, when we still thought Pets.com was a viable business. The catalyst? A deal with Google to use future Xeon processors in data centers, plus Elon Musk's full orbit of ventures (Tesla, SpaceX, xAI) coming aboard. Meanwhile, $PLTR shed roughly 14%, leading the S&P 500's worst performers list as the market collectively panics about what AI actually does to software valuations. Cramer's framing landed: hardware is eating software alive, and the $IGV ETF is the crime scene.
The macro backdrop is, to put it diplomatically, a lot. CPI printed 3.3% YoY for March with gasoline up 18.9% — the largest single-month gas spike since 1967. The Strait of Hormuz remains largely blocked (nine ships in 24 hours is not a trade route, it's a parking lot), VP Vance is in Islamabad trying to broker peace, and the S&P 500 still managed seven consecutive winning sessions. The market's optimism and the economic data are in a full-on custody battle. $CRWV quietly dropped a $21 billion Meta deal through 2030 and is rapidly becoming the AI infrastructure story nobody's talking about enough.
University of Michigan Consumer Sentiment just hit its lowest reading ever. But sure, buy the dip — at least you'll have a great story at the pawn shop.