Oil Craters 7%, AMD Moons 20%, and the Week That Broke Every Thesis You Had

Let's start with the headline that moved actual money: the US and Iran are reportedly closing in on a 14-point ceasefire framework including a uranium enrichment moratorium and gradual sanctions relief, sending WTI crude down over 7% to below $100/barrel. Ken Griffin went on CNBC to warn a prolonged Hormuz closure means global recession. Chevron's CEO said the ceasefire already broke down once this week. So: hopeful chaos, which is Wall Street's favorite flavor.

Meanwhile, $AMD had the kind of week that makes you question every 'hold' rating you've ever trusted. Shares surged 20% — up 95% year-to-date — after Lisa Su revealed the CPU is the unsung hero of the agentic AI boom. Server compute revenue up over 50%, TAM nearly doubled in nine months, and Wedbush slapped a $450 price target on it. $GLW also went absolutely feral — up 262% in the past year after Nvidia dropped a $500 million strategic partnership on them for optical fiber infrastructure.

And then there's $GME, which bid $56 billion for eBay with roughly $9B in cash, a vague 'highly confident' letter from TD Bank, and the audacity of a man with nothing to lose. Michael Burry is already out. The rest of us are just watching this beautiful disaster unfold in real time.