Let's set the scene: May payrolls drop at 172,000 — beating every single analyst estimate — and Wall Street's response is to immediately sell everything. The Nasdaq fell 4%, its worst day since April 2025. The Philadelphia Semiconductor Index shed over 9%. $AMD dropped 8.8%, $AVGO fell 6%, and the market's vibe shifted from 'Roaring 2020s' to 'wait, is the Fed about to hike?' Spoiler: Bloomberg's Edward Harrison thinks yes — core PCE has accelerated from 2.6% to 3.3% in 14 months. Ed Yardeni, ever the optimist, called it a healthy 'June Swoon' and kept his S&P 8,000 target. Goldman's John Flood agreed it's a buying opportunity. Jeremiah Babe did not agree.
The SpaceX IPO is the other story consuming every creator's feed. Priced at $135/share targeting a $1.77 trillion valuation — already oversubscribed — it would be the largest IPO in history, more than double Saudi Aramco's $29.4B listing. Andrei Jikh raised a spicy structural concern: NASDAQ quietly changed its index inclusion rules on May 1st, cutting the waiting period from 3 months to 15 trading days, essentially force-feeding SpaceX into passive funds and your 401k whether you want it or not. Mish Schneider on IBD called the valuation 'fuzzy' and told retail to sit it out. Most Bloomberg guests called it the worst-kept secret in markets and shrugged.
Meanwhile, $GOOG just signed a $920M/month cloud deal with SpaceX through 2029, Meta is planning a stock sale to fund $145 billion in AI capex, and Grindr — yes, Grindr — grew revenue 38% while its stock dropped 50%, which is honestly the most 2026 sentence ever written.