Stocks Snooze as Oil Tumbles: Wall Street Ignores Iran Drama, AI FOMO Stays Hot

If you were hoping for fireworks after Iran’s supreme leader was killed and oil briefly staged a Cirque du Soleil impression, tough luck—the market basically rolled over, grunted, and went back to sleep. The S&P 500, Nasdaq, and Dow are so flat, I’m starting to think their spirit animal is a beige rug. Meanwhile, the VIX is wearing its best impression of Ambien, unbothered by talk of new wars (thanks Reuters), AI booms, or even Taylor Swift-inspired property tax tantrums.

YouTube’s talking heads are calling oil’s slide to a four-month low “historic,” with Citi seeing Brent at $60/barrel by year-end. Yet traders on X are too busy dunking on politicians and fretting about Fed drama to celebrate cheaper gas. Fundstrat is out here telling everyone that missing the ‘10 best days’ of the stock market is a life mistake—like selling your AAPL for Dogecoin and then blaming the Fed. On Wall Street, it’s not drama, it’s just another Wednesday. Someone wake me up when volatility gets interesting again.