Let's set the scene: May CPI came in at 4.2% year-over-year — the highest reading in three years — with gasoline up 40.5% and airline fares up 26.7%, while your paycheck grew a comparatively pathetic 3.4%. Meanwhile, a U.S. Apache helicopter got downed over the Strait of Hormuz, WTI crude surged toward $91/barrel, and the Dow dropped 953 points in its worst single session since last October. Totally fine. Everything's fine.
The week's biggest stock stories were brutal and beautiful in equal measure. $SMCI cratered 28% — its worst day since March — after announcing a $7 billion equity offering to fund AI server buildout, which the market read as 'we need cash, and a lot of it.' $CBRL had the opposite energy, ripping 23% (briefly 35% intraday) on raised revenue guidance, proving that when America is stressed about war and inflation, apparently it wants chicken and dumplings. Can't blame them. Meanwhile, $INTC surged over 11% — now up roughly 200% year-to-date — after reports that Google is ordering 3 million+ specialized AI chips from Intel for 2028.
The elephant in the room is $SPCE... wait, wrong space company — SpaceX's NASDAQ IPO represents ~$75 billion in new market cap hitting indices, and Tom Lee on YouTube argues the chip selloff is literally just institutions liquidating winners to fund their SpaceX allocation. $AAPL didn't help sentiment either, dropping 5% post-WWDC after unveiling a Siri AI that's still in beta with no hard release date — Wall Street wanted an iPhone supercycle catalyst and got a feature demo. The Fed trap is now fully sprung: rate hike odds for December surged past 50%, and with the Strait of Hormuz partially choked, some analysts are whispering $160 oil. Buckle up — this summer is going to be deeply unpleasant and somehow still interesting.
